Just write the damn draft!
That’s what I’ve been yelling at myself all day. Well… actually I’ve been yelling that at myself for years. I recently saw a FB memory pop up from 7 years ago in which I declared I was starting a blog, and was looking for ideas on what to write about. 7 years, guys.
7 YEARS.
You’d think I would have figured out what I want to write about by now, but spoiler: I haven’t. Haha! But I’d rather just start writing then spend another 7 years wanting to but being afraid. Isn’t fear such an incredible thing? What else can ruin relationships, break dreams, derail careers, and end lives so quickly and efficiently?
I have spent a lot of years being afraid. Maybe all of my years being afraid. I used to be terrified of dogs. I avoided meeting new people and hated the potential of being trapped into making small talk with those I didn’t know. I never slept a wink at sleepovers as a kid and eventually had to start medicating my fear when it manifested into full-fledged depression and anxiety. The most ironic part of it all? Most of the things I was scared of either never happened or, if they did, I was capable of managing when push came to shove. In fact, some of those things I feared are now some of the best parts of my life.
Fear serves it’s purpose in it’s time. It encourages us to run when danger is approaching. It ensures we reach deadlines that we feel are important. Fear keeps us “safe.” But our world doesn’t need us to play it safe anymore. Who will benefit from our playing small? A life lived small and scared makes no one better. A life lived in fear achieves only a fraction of what your God created you for.
This isn’t new information though, right? We all KNOW we shouldn’t be fearful. But that doesn’t actually help us in any way. Oftentimes, if you’re anything like me, that realization can make the fear expand and grow an extra head and engulf any light of hope. If you don’t know how to stop being afraid, being told that you shouldn’t be afraid is just one more pressure, one more thing you’re not good at, one more way you could fail.
I’m so sorry if you’ve read this far and think this is the part where I lay down some thick wisdom and change your life. Hahahaha… just the idea of that makes me laugh out loud. I don’t know how to overcome fear. I have battled fear and anxiety my entire life and I have tools to manage it, but I don’t know how to fix it. I do know, however, that I would have never overcome the fears I’ve battled without the people I have in my life.
I have this theory about the meaning of life, why we’re all here. I believe that there are all these lessons we’re intended to learn during our lifetime. We all must learn these lessons, but we learn them in a different order, in different ways, and at different times. That’s where community comes in. We need people in our lives to help us learn these lessons that make life worth living. I think one of the lessons I’m working on now is how to overcome fear.
Will you help me learn?